I’m a Concerned Ally™, what can I do to help trans people?

You’re probably here because you either asked this question or you have a trans person in your life who hopes you want to help. So here are some actionable suggestions for turning your good vibes toward trans people¹ into good praxis toward our liberation.

1. Put your money where your mouth is.

Help us move to safety, and help us physically transition — and keep doing it on a regular schedule.

Transition is already prohibitively expensive; it’s going to get worse, and we’re going to be increasingly less safe without it. Red states are already legislating away the rights and needs of transgender youth, and they’ve got their sights set on adults next.

Go on GoFundMe and search up trans people fleeing red states, or trying to fund their physical transitions. Pay someone. Not (just) the Trevor Project or the ACLU or one of the many worthy trans-support organizations² — a single, individual trans person desperately trying to stay alive.

Then do it again next paycheck. Keep doing it for the next 4 years.

I know it’s not exciting or fun or particularly interesting. It costs money. It means you have to do your own vetting and become comfortable with the fact that you can’t know for absolute certain that the person you helped is legit.

It will also make you feel pretty shitty and small because there are thousands of us who need thousands of dollars and only one of you. (I’m really selling this, aren’t I?) Welcome to our reality. This is what we live.

But you can help make it a tiny bit less hopeless by just giving something to someone.

Budget it in. That small drop in the bucket can and will change lives.

2. Tell legislators we matter to you.

Call, text, or email your representatives — every time you’re reminded about us in the news. The GOP thinks we’re a good scapegoat, and the Democrats don’t think we’re a big enough bloc to be worth saving and — critically — don’t have a plan to do so.

We are less than 1% of the population. If legislators, including Democratic ones, don’t hear from cis allies that this is an issue that matters to you, they have no incentive to push back against the Conservatives’ anti-trans agenda. They are, in fact, disincentivized by the controversial nature of trans issues; it’s perceived as much less risky for them to avoid taking a stand to protect us.

The Right has a comprehensive plan to gut our care; the Left has no plan for how to stop them or particular motivation to do so, without your help.

So tell your reps, regularly, that trans healthcare is important to you, because otherwise we’re just too small of a bloc for them to risk protecting.

3. Make sure your friends and family know where you stand on transgender rights, and why.

Posting pro-trans memes and arguing with your bigoted uncle on Facebook isn’t enough in and of itself, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be useful.

Most people don’t (realize they) know any trans people; they get their information about us from whatever media outlet or social group they spend their time with. And frankly, most of what’s out there isn’t good info — to include many things published in the major papers of record. So make the effort to push good info out to your circles.

I’m not suggesting you argue with every bigot you come across online (see the next point), but the people you are in relationship with are a different matter. Humans instinctively put more trust in the people they know personally and feel are most like them; that means you have an avenue to reach your particular friends and family that no one else has — certainly no random trans person who might randomly encounter or be affected by the results of their bigotry.

4. Stop magnifying anti-trans talking points and arguing with random trolls to prove how pro-trans you are.

Most of the hate I see day-to-day is spread by well-meaning allies who share bigoted nonsense because it upsets them, or because they want to dunk on them. But when you do this, for the most part all you’re doing is spreading their hate. Raising the alarm is only useful insofar as it prompts action; it’s important, but it isn’t action in itself.

Additionally, arguing with random bigots online can actually do more harm than good. In short, you are letting them control the conversation, validating their argument, and rewarding them for their hate by giving them the attention of both yourself and the algorithm. For a good explainer of how the Right systematically strategizes around this dynamic, check out the excellent YouTube series, The Alt-Right Playbook.

Stop giving your oxygen to hate. Spread pro-trans information and share trans joy, instead.

5. Stop giving money and attention to anti-trans bigots and their enablers.

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t reduce obvious, large-scale harm where we’re able.

From J.K. Rowling’s crusade against us to the New York Times’ irresponsible platforming of concern trolls and their junk science, misinformation is being spread at an alarming rate and used directly to support legislation that strips us of our rights and ability to participate in public life.

Your money and attention are being weaponized against trans people. When you continue to give bigots your money and attention, you’re not only making clear that harming us does nothing to their bottom line, you’re funding our eradication.

Stop engaging with media and organizations that are demonstrably harming us.

6. Listen to and magnify trans voices.

We need you to speak up. We also need you to listen to us, and to stay open to new information, correction, and passing the mic.

Find and follow trans folks who are doing the work of writing and educating about our issues and experiences. Erin Reed, Schuyler Bailar, Matt Bernstein, Cal Calamia, Ivan Coyote, ALOK Vaid-Menon, Talia Bhatt, and Julia Serano are a few whose work I follow. There are many more. Read what they have to say, listen to them, and share their words and works.

Trans people don’t always agree. Like any large group of people, there are as many trans opinions on our issues as their are trans people. You don’t always have to take a side on the finer points of trans theory (and often probably shouldn’t); but you do need to stay educated about our issues and the challenges we face if you want to be an effective ally for us.

Sometimes you’ll mess up in your efforts. Being an ally means being in a constant state of learning. You will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, and feel embarrassed; sometimes you might even upset someone enough to get some folks really mad. But that doesn’t mean you throw in the towel and walk away from the fight for our rights. It means you take a breath, sit with your discomfort, accept your error, and do better the next time.

In conclusion…

We appreciate your flags and pins and passively supportive vibes, but they’re not enough. We need practical, material support from every possible angle, because one side is actively trying to kill us, and the other lacks the political will to stop them.

“Ally” is a verb. It is something you must do actively, not something you can be passively. We need you in this fight, not just pitying us while you watch from the sidelines.

Thank you for stepping up.

Footnotes

¹The fights for liberation are all one fight. These tips, with some modifications, are applicable to pretty much all marginalized demographics. Apply them accordingly to your efforts toward anti-racism, anti-ableism, anti-colonialism, reproductive rights, anti-Imperialism, environmental justice, queer liberation, Indigenous sovereignty, etc., because all are integral to trans liberation.

²One such organization is Point of Pride, which “provides financial aid and direct support to trans folks in need of health and wellness care,” including gender affirmation surgery, HRT, electrolysis, and more, as well as free binders and shape wear.

This article was adapted from a Bluesky thread and published simultaneously on my personal blog. It is also available in abbreviated form as a series of Instagram slides.